JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a Daily Star reader who doubts his girl is working two jobs
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Check out some of Jane’s top recent advice:
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I lost all our money
I’m convinced that my girl is sleeping with her boss.
She has started tiptoeing out of the house at 5am each day. She leaves me snoozing while she pulls on her clothes on and lets herself out. She’s an estate agent and works five days a week from 10-6.
What’s changed is that she says she’s taken on an additional cleaning job – working for her boss.
This man is newly single and living alone in a fancy, penthouse apartment. He’s loaded and owns three estate agency branches. My girl reckons that she takes it in turns to clean each branch and then blitzes his flat a couple of times a week too. I think she’s shagging him.
I suspect she gets straight out of our bed and into his. I guess that they have sex for a couple of hours before showering together and then travelling into work separately. What other explanation can there be?
She says I’m ridiculous. She points out that this guy is paying her good money – extra money that we need.
I accept that our finances are dire. I know she blames me for investing our savings in my mate’s business and losing the lot but how was I to know that he’s a crook? She blasts that she’s pulling out all the stops in order to prevent us from going under and that I should be thanking her rather than accusing her, but this is so hard for me. I’m a proud guy. I hate the idea of her working two jobs simply to keep us afloat. Plus, I’ve met her boss and he’s as smooth as he’s flash and I wouldn’t put anything past him. The reason she’s so tired when she gets home at night is because they can’t keep their hands off each other.
How do I get her to come clean about that?
JANE SAYS: Does it ever occur that not everything in life is about you? From what I understand, as well as her full time position your girl is also getting up at 5am every day in order to do a second job cleaning offices and her boss’s home. Her boss is paying her for these shifts – and, presumably, you can see the fruits of these efforts (i.e. the cash) in the bank account or her purse?
What are you suggesting? That’s she’s not cleaning anywhere at all and he’s simply paying her for sex? That’s a very serious and unpleasant accusation to make. You’re clearly very jumpy and anxious at the moment. A mate ripped you off and stole your savings and now you’re stinging and struggling to trust anyone, but you need to let go and start thinking rationally.
Why are you so quick to jump to conclusions and assume that your girl is up to tricks when you don’t mention her ever letting you down before?
Clearly, she’s got a very strong work ethic because no one chooses to get up mega early and put in a twelve hour plus day. Cleaning is physically demanding. You should be praising and supporting her rather than slagging her off.
Organise a proper face-to-face conversation. Ask her to be honest and clear with you. Sadly, if you can’t get past your suspicions then maybe you and she were never destined to go the distance.
Fear I’m jinxed
I’ve always been extremely unlucky in love.
My first boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend while I was in hospital having my tonsils out.
My first lover leapt out of bed just as he was about to enter me shouting: “I can’t do this. I think I’m gay”.
The first guy I said, “I love you” to said: “Gross” and walked away. The second said: “I like you, but love is too strong a word for me”. He dumped me a week later. Now I want to tell my current lover that I have strong feelings for him, but I’m afraid, as he’s never so much as paid me a compliment.
Friends joke that I’m jinxed but can you blame me for being nervous, given my history?
JANE SAYS: I believe that if you want to tell someone that you love them, then you should go right ahead and do it. This is 2025 and you’re allowed to speak your mind and express your feelings. However, if the guy you’re currently dating is more buttoned up than your Nan’s nightie then is he going to respond well? Maybe you need to look at the types of guys you’re dating and make some significant changes? Yes, you have been unlucky so far, but you have to keep trying and staying true to yourself.
I’m her back-up plan
When my lover left her husband in 2022, I assumed she’d move straight in with me.
I got my flat already for her with new bedlinen and cushions.
Instead, she took up with an ex-boyfriend, but made it clear she still expected to see me for sex. Back in March, she found herself single again. Now I’ve formally asked her to move here, only she says she doesn’t want to spoil what we have. What we ‘have’ is me indulging her at every turn and turning a blind eye when she goes off piste. I crave a fully rounded relationship, not just occasional sex; only she seems to have put me into a category that I can’t get out of. How do I make her see me for the lonely, confused person I am?
JANE SAYS: You must face up to the fact that this woman has no respect for you. She doesn’t care about your feelings or your long-term happiness. You can’t allow yourself to be bought down and bankrupted (both emotionally and financially) by someone so calculating. Force yourself to walk away. How are you ever going to find someone decent with her still hanging around your neck?
She is not a nice person and only ever thinks about herself.
Ex is an embarrassment
My ex-wife is acting like a lush and I don’t approve.
We’re still civil for the sake of our kids (18 and 19). Recently, at a family engagement party she turned up with a toy boy on her arm. They giggled and snogged like idiots. I confronted her and told her to ‘cool it’ and she simply laughed in my face.
How do I get her to grow up?
JANE SAYS: I get the feeling that your ex was being deliberately minxy and provocative at that family party. You cannot allow her to wind you up.
She can do anything likes now that she’s single again. She is no longer your concern, and your teens aren’t babies. Concentrate on being the best father and educate your teens by example.
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