BRENT A GOB: This week, Harry’s fuming about Ryan Giggs’ continued omission from the Premier League Hall of Fame, and Cristiano Ronaldo’s reputation as a free-kick taker
Harry Brent is a journalist, broadcaster and columnist who joined Reach PLC in 2021. He specialises in football and opinion writing and is the voice of the Daily Star’s unmissable weekly ‘Brent A Gob’ column. Previously, Harry worked for GiveMeSport and The Irish Post.
I just want to get one thing straight: I hate Ryan Giggs more than Garfield hates Mondays.
He’s an odious little sneak who – like the clowns at Sky Sports who keep giving airtime to know-nothing influencers like ‘AngryGinge’ – deserves nothing but universal contempt. But… leaving him out of the Premier League Hall of Fame is like Gabby Agbonlahor on talkSPORT: daft, brainless and a waste of everyone’s time and intelligence.
If we’re taking ethics into account, morally-bankrupt prats like John Terry, Wayne Rooney and Ashley Cole have less business being in there than Arsenal do in a Champions League final. Oh, and while we’re listing villains: Eric Cantona kung-fu kicked a bloke in the mush, Roy Keane deliberately hurt Alfie Haaland and Rio Ferdinand wears snap-back caps despite pushing 50 – all unforgivable crimes, every bit as deserving of Hall of Fame exile as Giggs.
Unlike Bruno Fernandes after a tackle, most of us aren’t fragile juveniles crying out for a safe space. We can separate the art from the artist, and those who can’t should be taken about seriously as Tottenham in a title race.
We all know Giggs is a Grade-A love rat. But he’s also one of the most decorated players in English football history.
Stop babying us like we can’t hold two thoughts at once – like Trent Alexander-Arnold forgetting that full-backs have to defend as well as attack.
The Hall of Fame is supposed to celebrate Premier League football. Either treat it like that or scrap it altogether.
Cristiano Ronal-D’oh!
Few things in football are more undeserved than Cristiano Ronaldo’s reputation as a free-kick taker – except maybe Marcus Rashford getting a move to Barcelona after two years of sulking about like a confused, self-conscious tree.
When Dominik Szoboszlai’s free-kick flew in against Arsenal last month, Gary Neville called it “Ronaldo-like,” which was odd, considering it didn’t hit the wall or send anyone in the concourse crashing into the snack stand.
The last time Ronaldo was genuinely good at free-kicks, Lamine Yamal was in nappies, and Ruben Amorim was just a useless midfielder, rather than a useless manager.
How can a man be so hopeless at a particular skill for so long and still be hailed as the archetype? He might have scored a few, but that’s only because he takes them as regularly and shamelessly as Joey Barton spouts misogynistic claptrap.
No matter the angle, distance or situation, Ronaldo will still fire away with no remorse – like Sir Jim Ratcliffe when there’s a Manchester United tea lady to sack.
Little wonder, then, that his conversion rate since 2014 is a pitiful 4%. For context, the Premier League average is 9.2%. Lionel Messi’s is 9.3%.
In other words, Ronaldo is as rubbish at free-kicks as Jose Mourinho is at holding down a job, and has been for well over a decade.
The fact that people still think of him as a free-kick master proves how little attention most folks actually pay when watching football.
Not since Jeremy Corbyn have I seen such spectacular failure earn such blind admiration.
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