The polycule says it was ‘formed after a failed orgy’, but now they’ve grown into a tight-knit community that throws annual sex parties and thoroughly vets new membership applications
As the world increasingly ditches traditional “Adam and Eve” monogamy for polyamory, one 80 person-strong “polycule” takes it to the extreme. Polyamory is now fashionable.
Previously associated with swinging couples and free love hippies, in a 2020 YouGov poll of more than 1,300 American adults, 32 per cent said their ideal relationship is non-monogamous.
Living near the high street in Somerville, Boston is a community of people who are all dating each other to varying degrees. Many of them live together in houses spread across the city that form a dating network, wrote the Times.
“There are probably over 80 of us in our polycule,” said Ryan Malone, one of the residents who said he has many lovers. It formed after a failed orgy. “A bunch of us rented a cabin, one person didn’t get the memo and invited some co-workers,” one of the main organisers, Kit, explained.
“We had to wait each night until they went to bed before the shenanigans could happen. It was very awkward. But we were, like, OK, we have to be more intentional about this.”
Now they throw annual sex parties plus smaller fantasy parties and raves, including at a ski lodge and in a cabin in the woods.
The party themes have included post-apocalyptic Atlantis, with “trials by sex to determine who the new royalty was”, an “alien petting zoo” and a “murder mystery bonk”.
Being non-traditional, they all have different romantic and sexual relationships to one another. Some are “comet” partners, meaning they only see each other a small handful of times a year, whereas others are called “nesting partners” – and yet others are “like an uncle to the kids”.
Somerville, a northern suburb of Boston, is the most polyamory-friendly city in America. In 2023 it became the first city in the US to legally protect people in polyamorous relationships against discrimination.
Three years earlier Somerville extended the definition of a “domestic partnership” to include relationships involving more than two people.
The polycule doesn’t have formal membership, but people have to be vetted and sometimes interviewed before joining to make sure they have no “history of problematic behaviour in terms of consent violations,” said Kit.
“You almost need ten references” to join a meet-up, one anonymous member told the Times. “There is also this social ostracism, this call-out culture, which I’m not sure is as productive as people often hope it is.
“Every so often there will be a Facebook post that circulates that’s, like, ‘Just so everyone knows, this person did this thing on this date and I no longer feel safe around them and you shouldn’t either.’ It feels like we’re boycotting people the same way we boycott companies.”
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